GERTHY FAMILY NIGHT 11/17/09

After completing the century club once again....

Rob: HAPPY GERTHY DAY!!! I LOVE THIS PLACE!!!! (stumbles into room)

Nathan: Seriously, right now, seriously. If you ain't got the gerth, you ain't shit.

Kyle: Nunu, get over here, cupcake!

Nathan: K-Web, don't ever fucking call me cupcake! I'm princess, bitch! (storms into stairwell)

Rob: Fuck! Troy barricaded my room! I-I-gotta get him back! C'mon!

Nathan: (burps) Kay.

Both begin taking extra closet hinges and chairs, empty beer cases, mattress pads and random objects and stacking them infront of Troy's suite. The above image is the aftermath.

Later on in the evening, I came downstairs to see how Justin was doing (let's just say he was praying to the porcelain gods). Jeff was opening the door to the bathroom, carrying two cups of water and I asked him if he was doing alright. He responded, "Who, Justin? Yeah, he's doing great actually." Immediately after that, Justin called from the bathroom stall, "There's blood in my mucus, is that a good thing?"

When Troy is Engulfed in Flames (of embarassment)

At lunch today, fraters Troy, Rob, Kyle and myself were sitting around the table, exchanging words and catching up on each other's day. Since we have styrofoam cups for daily use, there are plenty of emptys laying around to be thrown away.

As we are discussing what was happening in our political science class, Troy pulled out a random lighter. 'What the hell was he going to do with that?' I wondered. He ignited a light from the plastic contraption, and patiently set the flame next to the innocent little cup. As I was speaking to him, he was still focused on turning the cup into a conflagaration. Then it happened--the speechless little cup went from snow white to lava red in an instant. Its edges imploded until the entire cup was engulfed in flames. It began to smoke, and Troy (as well as everyone eating at the table) yelled, "OH SHIT! I'M HOUSE MANAGER!" He quickly tapped it out as tiny, fiery embers had escaped from underneath the extinguished inferno upon our lunch table, floating above towards the fire alarms. We all look up as they continue to float. "Aw, shit" we thought.

No alarm sound. Just silence. We look at each other, waiting for the whailing, obnoxious noise that is the fraternity fire alarm. Nothing, luckily.

We just sit there, looking at the cup that is burnt to a crisp, like a failed home-ec project. Troy hands the lighter to Rob and says, "You should probably hold on to this for me for a while, thanks." He marches out of the dining room, up the stairwell to sit in his room. Meanwhile, Rob is holding the lighter and says, "This is for everyone's sake", and puts the lighter in his pocket.

11/10/09

Someone was playing Pokemon at meeting, and Jeff K leans over and says, "Didja catch 'em all? 'Cause you gotta! I didn't know if you knew that, but you do."

Chris F: "Man, Kyle, did you watch Giadda today? She was so hot! (of course, we are referring to the hit show on Food Network, "Everyday Italian") You should have seen this sweater she was wearing!"

In addition, the fall semester was an opportunity for us to express our creative side. While at dinner, we took ordinary movie titles and transformed them into potential pornographic film titles. Such titles (may) include:
-13 Going Down on 30
-Spying on Kids: Finally Caught
-Piledriving Miss Daisy
-Missionary Impossible
-Little Miss Cumshine
-Blood Hyman
-The Life Erotic with Steve Jizzou
-Big (need we say more?)

Overall, the list continues to grow, which is now in upwards of 350+ titles. Hooray! Maybe one day I'll post the complete list once our juices run out (get it?).

11/5/09

Every Thanksgiving, our cook (or as she is specified, "gourmet"), throws an annual turkey feast for all of the guys in the house. Whether it be hot turkey, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes or warm rolls, we all gather around the table to catch up and enjoy an "outspoken" meal.

Frater Sawyer, after learning of his high cholesterol and other minor inconveniences, exclaimed, "It's a real shame that I can no longer consider gravy as a beverage."